8 reasons why you shod be afraid of Santa:
1) he watches you while your asleep
2) he knows when your awake
3) he keeps a list of naughty children
4) every year he brakes into your house and leaves lots of evidence while eating all your cookies and milk
5) he invites small children to sit in his lap in department stores
6) your children keep singing about him making out with your wife
7) he likes to stuff goodies in your socks
8) he hides hundreds of his "little helpers" in the wilderness for months at a time
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